How to evacuate a building

Step 1: Take some solid fuel like paraffin with a low melting temperature and smoke point, and put it into the oven.

Step 2: Forget to check the temperature of the oven, and fail to notice it is set for 160 degrees C.

Step 3: Walk away.

Step 4: Notice that the entire lab fills up with smoke so thick that you cannot see from one end to the other.

Step 5: Attempt to put out smoke with fire extinguisher and watch helplessly as it continues to flare up.

Step 6: Call security.

Step 7: Evacuate building and watch as 11 fire engine trucks and one hazmat team arrives on site.

Step 8: Finally realize to pull fire alarm to evacuate remaining refugees in the building.

Step 9: Stand around and wait for fire rescue team to declare the building safe.

What is most embarrassing is that this entire incident was caused by negligence of a graduate student, not a (typically stupid) undergrad.

(not me, of course)

Menu for those who are sick

Porridge
Starting with a quart of chicken stock, add 1/2 cup of rice and bring to a simmer. Add 2-3 slices of ginger and a handful of dried scallops (rehydrated in hot water). Simmer below boiling for 1.5 hours.

Poached fish
Bring a big pot of water to boil. Add some coriander seeds, parsley, bay leaf, thyme, ginger and 3 garlic cloves, simmer for 30 minutes. Add fish filets and poach gently for 5 minutes.

Mix in 1 diced century egg to porridge before serving. Place 1 filet atop porridge, top with grated ginger, diced scallions and a drizzle of sesame oil.

Enjoy with happy tummy.