On the torture show

A: C wanted to know if he can see D's oral exam
B: huh. What??
B: like an audience????
A: yeah
B: so D is a dolphin?
A: lol

Godfather

A: The Boss asked, when are you planning to do proposal? i said maybe what-what
B: and ?
A: then I said, I been thinking.. but then B also dunno yet.. it is strange if B dunno and I say I know
A: heee :p
B: DID YOU ACTUALLY SAY THAT
A: yes I did
B: DIDNT HE ><>
A: he laughed and said so B is the godfather?
B: man now im the godfather
B: R is the don
A: yeah
A: brandon marlo
B: marlon brando
B: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the concept of food

A: did u read the article about duck penises
A: hee hee
B: no, where
A: nyt
B: where got duck penises
B: where where
A:http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/01/science/01duck.html?ex=1335931200&amp;en=85332ad7a98f7709&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
B: oh. it is under Science? I checked under Dining & Wine
B: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. HEEHEEHEHEH
A: -_-
A: WHAT IS WRONG WITH U

Get wet or die trying

Good times.

After the deadline has passed II

... clearly grad students have too much coffee and an unlimited capacity for procrastination.

After the deadline has passed

A: what are you doin
B: me nothing. bumming, watsup
A: nuthing. bored
B: come lets play something
B: lets play hopscotch
A: .........................................

On the Corrs

A: http://youtube.com/watch?v=mAvJ0R4g5ws
A: so hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. i like the drummer the most :D
B: oh. so young! the drummer is the least hot of the sisters
A: no no lah
B: YEAHHH
A: she is quite hot
B: the other two are HOTTTER, especially andrea corr
A: they are girly girly hotter, but this one is hottttt
B: like that, you might as well say, the brother HOTTEST. hurhur
A: the bitchy dominant kind
A: hahahah :P ass
B: oh no, you secretly wants to be whipped. hurhur

In response to random crazy person

[16:36] Fibji: :-O :-O
[16:37] : "Above all the reasons I stated, the real reason for my support for my government is that God is the one who appointed these leaders. God placed them over us. By supporting them, we are obeying God".
it is not God who appointed the *** lah
hello
in anycase is it in the bible
there is you and God
and no one in between who can have the authortiy of God over you
[16:38] deaf when yawning: oh oyu haven't seen that one b4
[16:38] deaf when yawning: haha
[16:38] Fibji: seriously
I wonder if these christians have ever read the bible
maybe she ic catholic
and see *** like the men in white too
like the pop
[16:39] deaf when yawning: -_-
[16:39] Fibji : look
it is clear in the bible
that it is only between you and God
what is this of God placing leaders over you
man
I think I am more chrisitan than him/her/it
man
this guy should be gang raped on the sts
and then say
I was gang raped becos God gave me a test
like abaham or what what
maybe she/he see the *** like they are our savor
like moses leading the jews out of egypt, part the red sea and into the promised land
maybe he has those weed candles.. and then helocinate
that it is a burning bush
how you speel he-lu-si-nate?
haclluinate
[16:46] deaf when yawning: hallucinate
[16:46] deaf when yawning: -_-

When the deadline REALLY approaches,

A: Oh man, my results aren't great. :(
B: That is okay, my results aren't out of this world too.
A: What nonsense. I saw your results for the leopard.....
A: At least you can show them your pussy.

how to mis-read book titles...

Fibji says:

"Nuclear environments?!?!" (Nuclear envelope; the cell, not the energy)

"Basic stem cells?!?!" (Brain stem cells)

Sigh, modeling people.

When a deadline approaches,

food for the lab include chocolates, cookies, cake, seminar sandwiches and wraps, chips, coffee, soda (diet and otherwise)

As a labmate puts it aptly, "I think I only had sugar for the entire day."

Cheap Bastard

You know you have achieved the highest notoriety of SUPER DUPER CHEAP BASTARD (SDCB) when

A: Excuse me, sorry to disturb. I have a question about joining Society of Super Cool People (SSCP)
B: Yes, go ahead. What is the question.
A: I found that SSCP membership is not free and I want to join.
B: Erm yeah, it is $30 per year for student membership. So?
A: Yes, I am wondering about that. Is there any promotional coupon that you know for this?
B: .......................................................

and you know you are surrounded by other SDCB when you get suggestions like these from your friends:

From C:
you should have said "You mean you didn't check Amazon? Sometimes they have specials!"
"free shipping too"
"Occasionally fatwallet has deals on these things too"
"Sometimes it's free, you just have to sign up to evaluate some of their advertising"

From D:
ask him to go search on halfmania for half priced membership

From E:
tell him to search on edealinfo and as the search is very complex, you don't know

Paper Paper!

There are many trials and tribulations in the pursuit of knowledge. Working with others being one (something which I apparently had the "good" fortune of not experiencing) and putting up with people who apparently live in homes without proper water supply being another (but there is a story for another day).

A: i have decided that i am not going to ever co-author my papers with more than 1 co-author
B: meaning?
A: meaning me + one more author.. thats it
B: so if I want to write a paper with you
B: I will have to kill The Boss first?
B: *in case this IM is being hacked, the previous statement is meant to be a joke*