When the deadline REALLY approaches,

A: Oh man, my results aren't great. :(
B: That is okay, my results aren't out of this world too.
A: What nonsense. I saw your results for the leopard.....
A: At least you can show them your pussy.

how to mis-read book titles...

Fibji says:

"Nuclear environments?!?!" (Nuclear envelope; the cell, not the energy)

"Basic stem cells?!?!" (Brain stem cells)

Sigh, modeling people.

When a deadline approaches,

food for the lab include chocolates, cookies, cake, seminar sandwiches and wraps, chips, coffee, soda (diet and otherwise)

As a labmate puts it aptly, "I think I only had sugar for the entire day."

You would think that with $30K per year tuition, you would at least have a decent wifi network. But no, the signal blinks intermittently, in the library no less.

Cheap Bastard

You know you have achieved the highest notoriety of SUPER DUPER CHEAP BASTARD (SDCB) when

A: Excuse me, sorry to disturb. I have a question about joining Society of Super Cool People (SSCP)
B: Yes, go ahead. What is the question.
A: I found that SSCP membership is not free and I want to join.
B: Erm yeah, it is $30 per year for student membership. So?
A: Yes, I am wondering about that. Is there any promotional coupon that you know for this?
B: .......................................................

and you know you are surrounded by other SDCB when you get suggestions like these from your friends:

From C:
you should have said "You mean you didn't check Amazon? Sometimes they have specials!"
"free shipping too"
"Occasionally fatwallet has deals on these things too"
"Sometimes it's free, you just have to sign up to evaluate some of their advertising"

From D:
ask him to go search on halfmania for half priced membership

From E:
tell him to search on edealinfo and as the search is very complex, you don't know

Paper Paper!

There are many trials and tribulations in the pursuit of knowledge. Working with others being one (something which I apparently had the "good" fortune of not experiencing) and putting up with people who apparently live in homes without proper water supply being another (but there is a story for another day).

A: i have decided that i am not going to ever co-author my papers with more than 1 co-author
B: meaning?
A: meaning me + one more author.. thats it
B: so if I want to write a paper with you
B: I will have to kill The Boss first?
B: *in case this IM is being hacked, the previous statement is meant to be a joke*

-__-

A: My friend's son has undescended testicle..
B: BENJI!?
A: NOT BENJI LAH
HELLLLO
MY FRIEND'S SON
NOT MY SISTER'S DOG

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